Wedding Rings...

One of the things I am looking so forward to at the end of my pregnancy, is the day when my wedding rings fit my finger again....

I wear them around my neck, but I really miss wearing them....Can't wait...

Friends

Im thankful for the wonderful people in my life....

Im thankful that I married my best friend in the whole wide world.....

I have these wonderful group of girls I worked with in buffalo that mean the world to me, they are sooooo wonderful...I miss them so much , and so happy we both make an effort to see eachother..not to mention coming to see the baby the 25th..( YES I WILL HAVE THE BABY BY THEN!)

I wish I could read peoples mind. I wish I knew why some people change and are completely different....people who used to be such a big part of your life...are no longer...its sad.

I hate trying to make a "friendship work" when friendships shouldn't be one sided.....efforts shouldnt be made on only one side....and excuses are hurtful....

But istead of dwelling of what isnt there, I think and smile about what once was....Im thankful for my past and the people who made me who I am today....

I am beyond thankful and blessed with my present life and the amazing people that fill it each day....especially my amazing, wonderful husband... I couldnt be happier, and he couldnt make me any happier....along with my wonderful family....

Just feeling thankful today...and I feel as if i need to look more on the positive side instead of always feeling bad about the things  i want, and what i dont have( so selfish of me)....because the amount that I do is soooo great, and I should be beyond thankful for that...

I realize that I cant get everything I want when I want it... Im learning to be more patient and understanding....

any one who knows me , knows I am stubborn and patience is NOT something I have...but im trying...and I think im doing preettttyyy good :)

Any Day Now

Alright, I went to the doctors today, and they said it could be any day now...you know how aggravating it is when someone says , well....It could be any day from today til 2 weeks.....and then if you go past your due date add two weeks on top of it.. that span is quite to much for me... So i decided Im going to try and do some "natural" ways of inducing labor...Im starting to take these supplements the doctors gave me to speed the process up..I read something about Raspberry tea, and then some really crazy stuff Im just not brave enough to try. I am just soooo ready for him to be here.. SOOOOOOO ready to be a mom, The anticipation is killing me!

Hurry up Carter, Its time we meet.....

Bronx

If anyone knows me...I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE my precious kitty bronx...lately he cracks me up...I feel like i am going to be a mother of 2...He is the MOST spoiled cat in the world...

Let me Just start by saying how wonderful of a life this cat has...first....he has 2 huge cat trees that he loves, secondly he has a "best friend" named Indiana (aka vinny) that he does everything with...He has endless amount of acres to roam outside and a nice warm house to sleep in . Every morning he wakes up to a silver tray filled with wet cat food, some mice whenever he decides to hunt and an endless amount of kitty food during the day.....Can you say SPOILED?!

Every since lil bronx was a baby I used to wrap him in a blanket and carry him around... ( something Frank told me cats hate), Now almost a year later he loves to sleep and lay upside down...in my arms of course...Bronx is very much my cat and recongnizes me as his mommy, He tends to follow me everywhere....and if the door is closed for example when i go to the bathroom or in our bedroom he crys outside the door and sticks his cute little paws underneath until i let him in...its really the cutest thing in the world....

Every night when we go to bed I dont let bronx sleep in our room anymore for many reasons...

1.) he sleeps ON TOP OF MY HEAD, FACE and purrs in my ear

2.) He licks my face all night

3.)I dont want him to get into a habit of sleeping with us, because the baby is going to be in our room for a while.....

HOWEVER lately, My bronxy has gone missing at night and REAPPEARING in the middle of my night at 3 a.m....last night we found out where he was....

Bronx now comes up and hides underneath the bed on my side, and WAITS until we are in a deep sleep and creeps up on our bed in the middle of the night...even though that is beyond cute and melts my little heart, it gives me a tad bit of anxiety because I am scared he is going to jump in the bassinet  when the baby is here!

regardless, I love my cat bronx...Sometimes i think wayyy to much, and cannot believe he is going to be 1 year old in a week... :) I cant wait til carter plays with him....he will love bronx just as much as me...

I Still Miss You

I can't believe were going on 4 years....I still miss you, I know your here with me every single day......R.I.P Gram


I STILL MISS YOU
There she was, 5 foot 3, a picture of my mother's mother
She showed me love, and all the ways of God
Her final days were spent in bed then she passed away
I won't forget her smiling face when she left us that night

But I still miss you
All the times we spent together
To hear you talk about the weather
I always prayed you'd get well soon
I wish my prayers came true
I know that Jesus has the answer
And He's way bigger than the cancer in you
But I still miss you

If dreams came true, just one more chance to talk to you
And thank you for the time you spent teaching me the truth
A boy back then, I've grown up, now I'm a man
I can finally understand the things you said to me

But I still miss you
All the times we spent together
To hear you talk about the weather
I always prayed you'd get well soon
I wish my prayers came true
I know that Jesus has the answer
And He's way bigger than the cancer in you
But I still miss you

I need some help to carry on
I need some strength to keep me strong

Groundhogs Day

So, It has been brought to my atttention that groundhogs day is February 2.....little did I forget it was my grandmothers favorite holiday....I shouldnt say "favorite" but it was one of the holidays she enjoyed making fun of..I think it would be extra special if Carter was born on that day....If he is, I know she made all the arrangements upstairs...How special that would be...I miss her so much...I wish she was here for this...I can only imagine the amount of advice she would be giving me, and boy would she be keeping me company, on the phone at least...She was the one person that would never get off the phone if it was possible....

I know she's up there watching over me and my baby...It's strange but I've been thinking about her so much lately...I cant believe its been 3 years, almost 4...I try to picture her face sometimes and its hard, Its hard to stop talking about the same stories over and over again, I dont want to forget her, What she looked like, our memories we had....I hate that the most vivid memory I have is here dying....I cant wait to see her again one day...

On a positive note, I think its pretty special that my Grandpa gets to be a Great-grandpa, how exciting is that, not many people can say that in their life time....

I feel so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life..

I do wish my momma was closer though, I miss her a ton!

Well Time to finish my show....and then attempt bed at 12 30...hopefully my sighing and whimpering doesnt wake Frank up and get his angry.....

until next time....

Up & Down

So here I am...Sunday night...midnight...Frank is snoring....im jealous hes sleeping...because I can't believe how hard it is for me to sit up let alone lay down....My back is aching....My stomach is cramping , and I can't stop crying....It hurts so bad.....I want it to be over, I want to bring my baby home, I want to sleep...I want to start working out and loose the 70 plus pounds i gained...All i keep thinking is that i'm almost done...Im going to be 37 weeks this week...thank goodness...Any day this baby could come and from the symptoms ive been having, I think He will be here Next week...but that is also wishful thinking...I think I WANT him to be here next weekend, and he probably wants to stay in....

almost done...hes almost in my arms!

And Soon You'll be in My arms

I'm Having a baby...I'm going to be a mom....

This is so unreal

its what i've been dreaming about for the past nine months and now, it is in arms reach...

We love him so much and I cant wait to hold our beautiful baby boy!!<3

* Baby* Baby* Baby

So, first i'll apologize to everyone (if anyone) who reads this....Im am sorry that every single blog I write is about my baby....I cant help it...I just love him already so much!...well...I just had another "nesting" moment and decided to organize AGAIN all the baby clothes, by color and sizes...I'm being realistic that after the baby is born it will not be so organized!

I cannot believe I am 35 weeks already!...thats crazy! Carter is moving like crazy and I finally have days where I am able to breath....Its so nice that he decided to drop down a bit and lay off my lungs.... it still feels like I ran a marathon just by walking up the stairs...oh well...

Its u n b e l i e a b l e to think that in 5 weeks...I will be holding a beautiful baby boy in my arms....maybe sooner....maybe a little later...hopefully not later, I cannot wait any more!!!

I hope he's not stubborn and desides to hang out a bit longer than normal...that wouldnt be very nice woud it?

I am sooo excited to finally become a mom, I think its going to be the MOST amazing gift, most amazing moment in my life..I cant believe we made it to the end of this pregnancy, it was a long scary road, but I am so thankful for so many wonderful people in my life.

I often have no idea how Frank deals with me and my many moods...I am so lucky to be bringing a beautiful baby in this world, into such a wonderful family. I am so lucky to have a husband who is by my side no matter what...We are going to be such a happy family, and for that I am greatful!!

Exhausted...what an understatement

Im not sure if my body is preparing me for when my beautiful baby comes home, but....its true...the ninth month of pregnancy is hard...really hard, im uncomfortable, I feel like a whale, I cant sleep at night.let alone cannot breath..Im up 3-4 times to pee, It literally takes all my energy to shift sides during the night, and I have to do that every five minutes...Not to mention, Im awake at the crack of dawn....

Im tired...I just wanna sleep....

I wouldnt be so "woah is me" if i had a baby to take care of....i much rather loose sleep over that..

its okay.only 30 days til my due date....hopefully i can have him sooner :)

I CAN DO THIS!!!

Baby Time?

alright..its official ive started going insane over thinking about when this baby is going to come.... I completely understand the probability that I will have to wait to February to have him come, however how amazing would it be if he came a tad bit early for me?....Im so ready for him, and hes so close to being here Its amazing to me. I cant wait to hold him, to loose sleep over him. Im si ready to not feel like I am carrying a 75lb bowling ball in my stomach....or waddle like a penguin, I was in walmart yesterday walking towards my husband as he started laughing saying how big my waddle was...thank you...We officially have "everything" for the baby....to start at least....now we just wait, and if all goes well.. we will be waiting a few more weeks... ive waited this long, I can wait somemore...I think it would be so much more fun if I could know the exact day..it would be such a better countdown..its hard when there is a countdown to your due date, and then your like well.....technically he could come at "any day" this day......Im rambling...I pretty much feel like doing  n o t h i n g today....and thats what im going to do..nothing. :) because im 9 months pregnant and I can....

On the other side however, its crazy that my due date is just about a month a way..that in a month  I will possibly have given birth to a beauuuutttttiiifful baby boy..

im going to be a mom, how amazing is that!?

I cant wait...im ready....